Disconnect

Lately I've been kind of disconnected from people... Like I'm reading them wrong, or somewhere in my head I'm twisting things around so that I honestly just want to chill by myself.  Which is really dumb timing for a feeling like this seeing as in less than a week from today I'm going to be home and not around my college friends anymore... But I just dont know... I feel the need for some time by myself...  I realized this when I was sitting on Horsebarn Hill with the grass a rippling sea around me and the wind a strong gust stolen from some ocean...

I dunno... I tend to lose myself when I'm away from ocean for too long.  The second I hit the beach its like that moment where your soul reconnects with your body.  I could sit on that rock in the wind and stare at the crashing waves for my entire life and never get bored.  It just feels right.  Like the ocean is hiding some huge breathing beast that causes the waves to rise and fall.  Its like how the desert is magical because somewhere in its vast distances it hides a well.  The ocean is magical because somewhere in its depths it hides what causes the ebb and flow of the tides.

Wind gives me some sort of bizarre mental clarity that allows me to see the things surrounding me.  It also seems to cause me to question just about everything, but with a calmness so that all the questioning and perspective checking isn't overwhelming.

Tired thoughts make no sense... probably a sign I should go to bed.  But the Fleet Foxes are sounding so gorgeous coming out of my headphones...

If I know only one thing, its that everything that I see of the world outside is so inconceivable often I barely can speak.  Yeah, I'm tongue tied and dizzy, and I can't keep it to myself.  What good is it to sing helplessness blues? Why should I wait for anyone else? - Fleet Foxes