Late night musings

Soooo lately I've been trying to figure out where I want to go in life... And I gotta say, it isn't reaaaally something I've ever put all that much thought into... But seriously, there are a lot of things I could do... maybe get a doctorate, spend the rest of my life FOR SCIENCE, doing research-y things  (You gotta admit, Dr. Jessie Scott sounds pretty damn cool.).  Travel the world... hide out in a field station observing some animal for months on end... chill in a lab microscoping things and mixing things and looking at DNA... running all the experiments.  Live on a boat, or an RV.  Go skydiving, base jumping, rock climbing, live on a mountain, hang gliding, scuba diving...

Or with a really cute family of my own...

For some reason I can't seem to combine the two in my mind... adventure and a family.  It just doesn't work.  It keeps ending up being family OR adventure.  Cute little family OR living day by day out of an RV seeing the country.  Adorable little family life OR living on a boat for a few months tracking whales and awakening each morning to the sunrise over the ocean...

I don't understand why these two perfectly wonderful futures don't combine in my mind.  Why it can't seem to work out like The Wild Thornberries...  Maybe it just doesn't seem right to said future kid... to be perpetually on the move, never set in one place, no solid home, friends, school, etc.  But I honestly don't know that I ever see myself settling down in one place for too long...

Sometimes I feel like a family would just be another thing getting in the way of my adventure... more mouths to feed, more plane tickets to buy, more things to worry about in this crazy world...  Maybe the problem is I care too much...

But again, how adorable would a kid be who grew up on Matt and Kim and The Little Prince and nights stargazing and adventuring around like they lived in The Wild Thornberries?  A kid who grew up on science...

Idk... I still don't know where I stand on the whole thing.  I think part of me is just terrified of losing the freedom I have of being able to do WHATEVER the hell I want, and it not severely affecting anyone in such a way that it could ruin their entire future...

But this is an awful lot of worrying for something that's years and years in the future.  No way I'd be settling down right now and thinking about a family... that's just absolutely absurd.  I've got a great good many years of adventure ahead of me before anyone could even possibly get me to stay in one spot for an extended period of time.

Something about being stuck in one place just terrifies me.