Alright, so, I was in a horrendous mood for reasons I don't even feel like getting into, but thank goodness for this.  Fantastic song, ADORABLE VIDEO.  I'm feeling much better now.  Gonna go download that song now.

Happiness hit her like a bullet in the head.  Struck from a great height by someone who should have known better than that.  The dog days are over, the dog day's are done. - Florence and the Machine

New life goal?

Never get another plastic bag from a store ever.  They biodegrade into straight up toxins, and it costs more to recycle them than it does to produce them...  Which is just dumb.  And those that manage to escape the trash end up in the pacific ocean in a current vortex of trash, which is AWESOME. *sarcasm, in case you didn't catch it*  I blame stumble for all this... If it weren't for stumble I'd still be getting plastic bags and ruining the environment.  And dad thinks I'm wasting time on the computer... pfffft.

Now with that stated, I accidentally got two plastic bags today because I was distracted by SOMEONE while checking out... Granted she made sure she didn't give me a plastic bag when she checked me out sooo... it's alright.  One less, right?  That counts for something...  I just feel like this is something I can do that will make some difference somewhere.

Why can't stores just all switch to paper bags?  Or those nice reusable ones...  Maybe they could sell paper ones with seeds embedded in the bag so that when it gets recycled or ends up in the trash it can just grow and take care of itself.

We'll see.

This is fact not fiction, for the first time in years. - Death Cab for Cutie

Not sure where I'm going with this...

Well I can't give you everything you want, but I could give you what you thought you need.  A map to keep beneath your seat, you'll read to me, in time I'll get you there.  But fold it up so we don't find our way back soon, nobody knows we're here.  We could park the van and walk to town, buy the cheapest bottle of wine that we could find.  Talk about the road behind, how getting lost is not a waste of time.  It's all for the sake of arriving with you.  Well, its all for the sake of arriving with you.  We could make this into anything, we could make this into more than words we speak.  This could make us into anything, it could make us grow and become what we'll be. - Jack Johnson

SORRY about the massive quote, but that ENTIRE song is GORGEOUS.  Speaking of Jack Johnson, kind of disappointed with his new album To the Sea... Sleep Through the Static was far too perfect, awesome meaningful songs with a few that just blended together...

Anywho, that song currently describes how I'm feeling.  Just about perfectly.  I think its time for a good road trip.  Somewhere awesome, with a lot of adventure, but not too much that I feel stressed, but that perfect mix of adventure and comfort, so that everything is new and exciting, but at the end of the day I can sleep knowing I'm somewhere good.  I just want a summer with endless roads and sunshine and rolled down windows, good music and good company... it just doesn't really get better than that...  I need an adventure... I want to experience an epic journey...  See the west coast?  Stargaze somewhere really flat?  Go see endless wheat fields?  Something to that effect...  Good thing I'm not too antsy yet.

Currently its snowing.  There's always something magical about those huge fluffy snowflakes falling from the sky... Makes me smile.  Its also too close to Christmas for an adventure...  I want it to be Fridayyyyyyy.

Tadaaa random post... my brain is coming back to me bit by bit as vacation wears on.

*Happy Dance*

I can finally stop stressing and just CHILL.  I just. I don't even know what to do with all my free time. Oh man. xD

Pack up your troubles in your old kit bag and bury them beneath the sea.  I don't care what the people may say, what the people may say about me.  Pack up your troubles, get your old grin back, don't worry 'bout the cavalry.  I don't care what the whisperers say 'cause they whisper too loud for me. - Eliza Doolittle

...

You know what I'm really good at lately? Sentences.

Thoughts running around my head currently...

Why do I get so angry when I'm tired?
Why do I stress over things that carry some arbitrarily assigned importance?
Why can't this Friday just drop off the face of the earth?
Why won't my printer work? ((ctrl p print, ctrl p print, ctrl p print, ctrl p print, ctrl p print... Cannot access printer? I CAN ACCESS PRINTER!!!  WHY CAN'T YOU ACCESS PRINTER?!?!?!?!  I PLUGGED YOU IN! - Eddie Izzard))

In other news, studying calc and chem all day. *headdesk*

I can't wait for Saturday.

Don't slow down.  Pen versus pencil.  Don't slow down.  I don't make the rules.  Don't slow down.  Physical mental.  Don't slow down. - Matt and Kim

Edit:
10:07pm, the night before two exams?  I've realized I'm terrified of failure.  Regardless of whether or not its going to happen, the thought of it happening just puts a pit in my stomach.

I've studied a week straight for these two, and honestly, I still don't feel prepared at all.  So that's awesome.  If I fail at this point, there's something seriously wrong with the entire system.  I think I just need to figure out how to turn my defeatist mood into one of complete apathy, and then I'll be fine... maybe some chocolate and The Little Prince?  Seriously though, there are more important things out there than some imaginary numbers and equations on a sheet of paper.

And when the worrying starts to hurt and the world feels like graves of dirt, just close your eyes until you can imagine this place, yeah our secret space, at will. - Snow Patrol

I dunno what I'd do without you

Ever have those friends who can make you smile no matter what?

Well today I went kind of batshit over calc homework... Like... cackling and wanting to bash things with my calculator, etc... Thank goodness I had my friend there to help me out and make sure I didn't smash things, my other friend on AIM to walk me through a couple problems (he wants to be a math teacher, indb), my bffl since kindergarten who knows me well enough to know how to fix things, my roomie leaving me great wall posts, a hug, and then later, a lovely friend who decided she wanted to knock on my door with massive balloon boobs.  Guys, you made my night.  Thanks for putting up with me <3

There's no combination of words I could put on the back of a postcard.  No song that I could sing, but I can try for your heart.  Our dreams, and they are made out of real things, like, a shoebox of photographs with sepiatoned loving.  Love is the answer, at least for most of the questions in my heart, like, why are we here? And where do we go? And how come its so hard?  It's not always easy and sometimes life can be decieving, but I'll tell you one thing its always better when we're together. - Jack Johnson

I dunno what I'd do without you.
<3,
Jessie

Go Green

Woohoo environmental plug? (c'mon, you didn't see this coming at some point? I'm the biggest bio dork ever... it was totally coming...)

God I love stumbleupon...  it found me this: Seed Bombing . They are literally little vending machines filled with clay and dirt balls with wildflower seeds in them.  Their goal is to start filling in all the empty areas in cities with plants by giving people a means of obtaining these easily thrown seed bombs.  All it takes is a couple quarters and everyone can go on their own little green rampage and make their cities prettier.  I personally think its a great idea and have asked my parents for some of these for Christmas, I know my friends and I would have fun attacking Boston with them xD

But yea, if you scroll down to the bottom of the page there is a link to their store where you can buy a package of 10 seed bombs for $10, and they have different mixes for different temperate areas.

I love things like this, like living roofs, specially designed curbs with plants to help purify water, seedbombs, rooftop gardens, it just all seems like such a great idea.  Incorporating nature and urban societies can only lead to good things.  We have a rooftop garden at college and its tons of flats of little succulent plants and they just look adorable.  I love sitting on the benches there.  Without the plants it'd just be some ugly sidewalk-y rooftop stuff... With the plants its a nice place to chill.  Ideas like this will make the world a better place, slowly but surely.

Tie strings to clouds, make your own lake, let it flow.  Throw seeds to sprout, make your own break, let them grow. Let them grow (endless summer). Let them grow (endless summer).  Go do.  - Jonsi

Love,
Jessie

Science Dorking Out...

So rather than doing my calc homework like  I should be I'm stumbling? I love stumbleupon.com  I currently have mine set to the dorkiest settings ever. But this. http://www.xvivo.net/the-inner-life-of-the-cell/ I just. The animations. And the amazingness. And the transport protien <3 He looks like he's walking places omg.

oceanexplorer.noaa.gov/explorations/02sab/logs/aug15/media/porpida_post.html

Also the universe. Btw.
www.cfa.harvard.edu/image_archive/2010/2/lores.jpg


Things to do:
Stargaze in a desert.
See the Northern Lights.
Drive to the West Coast.
Never use plastic bags ever again. (seriously they degrade to straight up toxins)
Find a way to live here . Because it is truly beautiful.

That's it for now, I'm kind of exhausted. And I've gotten nothing done today. Well, nothing that's going to mean anything to anyone other than me... Because today I accomplished exploring the world via the internet for awhile while chilling with some awesome people. I consider that accomplishing something.  The rest of the world (i.e. my professors) would not.

We took the walls out in this old bedroom of your house to make room for dreams. I know where you're coming from. - Matt and Kim

<3
Jessie

Math as a religion, and Matters of Consequence

So... in a conversation with a friend, ranting about finals, I came to this conclusion:

[8:46:39 PM] Jessie: i've determined calculus is a religion
[8:46:47 PM] Jessie: which all people who love math blindly follow
[8:46:48 PM] Jessie: its like
[8:46:56 PM] Jessie: the scientology of all school subjects

With that out of the way, I have friends who will spend a half hour trying to solve one math problem.  Just one problem.  That's how convoluted it is.  And they think its great.  Do they know why they're doing it? Does it unravel the mysteries of the universe?  Nope.  But they do it anyways.  Its just completely beyond me.  I feel like calculus is just one of those things that people consider to be a matter of consequence when it really isn't.  At all.

Speaking of matters of consequence, I was reading The Little Prince today, and I realized that I have become consumed by what adults deem matters of consequence.  And its driving me crazy.  I don't WANT to be concerned with the matters of consequence that are of no consequence at all.  So I've determined I'm just going to try my hardest at calc and chem and if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out, its all imaginary anyways, right?  Sorry I keep bringing up the same thing over and over guys, but calc and chem are a major source of stress in my life right now because they DONT MAKE SENSE and I have a whole 'nother semester of the both of them to go, and I need to get them over and done with ((WHO THE HELL DECIDED I NEED CALCULUS TO OBSERVE NATURE ANYWAYS?! Who has the right to tell me I have to waste a whole year on something that WILL drive me crazy?)) so I can get to the stuff I love i.e. playing with plants and germs and microscopes and memorizing EVERYTHING that has to do with LIFE and other matters of consequence. The important kind. The kind that make the stars twinkle.

I mean really, aren't actual matters of consequence the things that make you happy?  That perfect line in a song?  The friends you can depend on no matter what?  Those moments that just make you smile?  Ridiculous jokes and laughing till you cry?  Sense of adventure?  That perfect view that fills you with a sense of you don't even know what but it wasn't there prior to looking at that sight?  Open roads?  Rolling fields?  Mountain views?

I need more of those moments in my life.  And I'm determined to find them.

He was really very angry. He tossed his golden curls in the breeze.

"I know a planet where there is a certain red-faced gentleman.  He has never smelled a flower.  He has never looked at a star.  He has never loved anyone.  He has never done anything in his life but add up figures.  And all day he says over and over, just like you: 'I am busy with matters of consequence!'  And that makes him swell up with pride. But he is not a man - he is a mushroom!"

"A what?"

"A mushroom!"
The little prince was now white with rage.
"The flowers have been growing thorns for millions of years.  For millions of years the sheep have been eating them just the same.  And is it not a matter of consequence to try to understand why the flowers go to so much trouble to grow thorns which are never of any use to them?  Is the warfare between the sheep and the flowers not important?  Is this not of more consequence than a fat red-faced gentleman's sums?  And if I know - I myself - one flower which is unique in the world, which grows nowhere but on my planet, but which one little sheep can destroy in a single bite some morning, without even noticing what he is doing - Oh!  You think that is not important!"
His face turned from white to red as he continued:
"If someone loves a flower of which just one single blossom grows in all the millions and millions of stars, it is enough to make him happy just to look at the stars.  He can say to himself: 'Somewhere, my flower is there...'  But if the sheep eats the flower, in one moment all his stars will be darkened . . .  And you think that is not important!" 

pages later....

[the red-faced gentleman] "As for me, I am concerned with matters of consequence.  There is no time for idle dreaming in my life."

The Little Prince - Antoine DeSaint-Exupery

Read The Little Prince. Seriously. I will personally mail you a copy if you don't believe what a life-changing book it is.  I've determined I don't want to end up like the red-faced gentleman. I want time in my life for idle dreaming.  I don't want to be forever counting stars thinking I can own them but never seeing them for what they truly are.  I want to look at the stars and know that somewhere out there my friends and family who mean the world to me are also out there under those stars.  I don't want work and terrible requirements and frustrating things to take over my world.  I want to be able to do those things that make life worth living.  I have a list started somewhere of all the things I should do at some point, that may or may not end up on here.  We'll see.


So if you read this please immediately stop concerning yourself with matters of consequence and go find something truly beautiful to appreciate, if only for a few minutes.  Just take the little prince's advice and realize that there are more important things in the world than whatever has you stressed out.

All the love in the universe,
Jessie

I wanna stand up.  I wanna let go.  You know, you know, no, you don't, you don't.  I wanna shine on in the hearts of man.  I wanna mean it from the back of my broken hand. - The Killers

Yep.

Kind of corny, but still, I love how if you scroll too fast at the bottom a little loading bar appears that says "Loading more encouragement"

Is it going to be ok?

Just the fact that so many people care enough about brightening someone's day to make this site makes me smile.

When you thought that it was over, you could feel it all around, and everybody's out to get you, don't you let it drag you down. 'Cause if you ever feel neglected, if you think that all is lost, I'll be counting up my demons, hoping everything's not lost. - Coldplay