I think I've lost me....  Currently.... I feel so tired that I'm not tired.  But I'm not awake either.  Also this entire post will probably sound like I'm on something.  Lack of sleep is worse for you than any drug could ever be. Fact.  But back to where I started... I don't think I have a brain right now.  I'm pretty sure that where my brain should be is just air, and my skull is just a hollow shell for what should be holding me but now isn't.  My skull feels like an empty bowl for the random thoughts that keep drifting through...  Manda said something about what if we are all one thought in different bodies... Maybe there's a way to tap into that thought... maybe the key is losing yourself.

Maybe by not having me inside of me right now I'm actually closer to the universe than I ever will be.  Maybe actual me is off somewhere in the universe right now.  Actual me is probably by the ocean under the stars.  Or AMONGST the stars.  While physical me is sitting here on a loft bed in connecticut wondering why the hell I'm still awake when I'm this tired.  Also I sound like I'm developing some sort of dissociative identity disorder right now... talking about actual me and physical me... weird.

This feeling is vaguely similar to how I feel when swimming in frigid ocean water... because if I let my body go numb and the waves are crashing all around me then my thoughts are free to wander the entire everything if they please... my body is the ocean and my thoughts are as vast as the sky