Alright, so, I was in a horrendous mood for reasons I don't even feel like getting into, but thank goodness for this.  Fantastic song, ADORABLE VIDEO.  I'm feeling much better now.  Gonna go download that song now.

Happiness hit her like a bullet in the head.  Struck from a great height by someone who should have known better than that.  The dog days are over, the dog day's are done. - Florence and the Machine

New life goal?

Never get another plastic bag from a store ever.  They biodegrade into straight up toxins, and it costs more to recycle them than it does to produce them...  Which is just dumb.  And those that manage to escape the trash end up in the pacific ocean in a current vortex of trash, which is AWESOME. *sarcasm, in case you didn't catch it*  I blame stumble for all this... If it weren't for stumble I'd still be getting plastic bags and ruining the environment.  And dad thinks I'm wasting time on the computer... pfffft.

Now with that stated, I accidentally got two plastic bags today because I was distracted by SOMEONE while checking out... Granted she made sure she didn't give me a plastic bag when she checked me out sooo... it's alright.  One less, right?  That counts for something...  I just feel like this is something I can do that will make some difference somewhere.

Why can't stores just all switch to paper bags?  Or those nice reusable ones...  Maybe they could sell paper ones with seeds embedded in the bag so that when it gets recycled or ends up in the trash it can just grow and take care of itself.

We'll see.

This is fact not fiction, for the first time in years. - Death Cab for Cutie

Not sure where I'm going with this...

Well I can't give you everything you want, but I could give you what you thought you need.  A map to keep beneath your seat, you'll read to me, in time I'll get you there.  But fold it up so we don't find our way back soon, nobody knows we're here.  We could park the van and walk to town, buy the cheapest bottle of wine that we could find.  Talk about the road behind, how getting lost is not a waste of time.  It's all for the sake of arriving with you.  Well, its all for the sake of arriving with you.  We could make this into anything, we could make this into more than words we speak.  This could make us into anything, it could make us grow and become what we'll be. - Jack Johnson

SORRY about the massive quote, but that ENTIRE song is GORGEOUS.  Speaking of Jack Johnson, kind of disappointed with his new album To the Sea... Sleep Through the Static was far too perfect, awesome meaningful songs with a few that just blended together...

Anywho, that song currently describes how I'm feeling.  Just about perfectly.  I think its time for a good road trip.  Somewhere awesome, with a lot of adventure, but not too much that I feel stressed, but that perfect mix of adventure and comfort, so that everything is new and exciting, but at the end of the day I can sleep knowing I'm somewhere good.  I just want a summer with endless roads and sunshine and rolled down windows, good music and good company... it just doesn't really get better than that...  I need an adventure... I want to experience an epic journey...  See the west coast?  Stargaze somewhere really flat?  Go see endless wheat fields?  Something to that effect...  Good thing I'm not too antsy yet.

Currently its snowing.  There's always something magical about those huge fluffy snowflakes falling from the sky... Makes me smile.  Its also too close to Christmas for an adventure...  I want it to be Fridayyyyyyy.

Tadaaa random post... my brain is coming back to me bit by bit as vacation wears on.

*Happy Dance*

I can finally stop stressing and just CHILL.  I just. I don't even know what to do with all my free time. Oh man. xD

Pack up your troubles in your old kit bag and bury them beneath the sea.  I don't care what the people may say, what the people may say about me.  Pack up your troubles, get your old grin back, don't worry 'bout the cavalry.  I don't care what the whisperers say 'cause they whisper too loud for me. - Eliza Doolittle

...

You know what I'm really good at lately? Sentences.

Thoughts running around my head currently...

Why do I get so angry when I'm tired?
Why do I stress over things that carry some arbitrarily assigned importance?
Why can't this Friday just drop off the face of the earth?
Why won't my printer work? ((ctrl p print, ctrl p print, ctrl p print, ctrl p print, ctrl p print... Cannot access printer? I CAN ACCESS PRINTER!!!  WHY CAN'T YOU ACCESS PRINTER?!?!?!?!  I PLUGGED YOU IN! - Eddie Izzard))

In other news, studying calc and chem all day. *headdesk*

I can't wait for Saturday.

Don't slow down.  Pen versus pencil.  Don't slow down.  I don't make the rules.  Don't slow down.  Physical mental.  Don't slow down. - Matt and Kim

Edit:
10:07pm, the night before two exams?  I've realized I'm terrified of failure.  Regardless of whether or not its going to happen, the thought of it happening just puts a pit in my stomach.

I've studied a week straight for these two, and honestly, I still don't feel prepared at all.  So that's awesome.  If I fail at this point, there's something seriously wrong with the entire system.  I think I just need to figure out how to turn my defeatist mood into one of complete apathy, and then I'll be fine... maybe some chocolate and The Little Prince?  Seriously though, there are more important things out there than some imaginary numbers and equations on a sheet of paper.

And when the worrying starts to hurt and the world feels like graves of dirt, just close your eyes until you can imagine this place, yeah our secret space, at will. - Snow Patrol

I dunno what I'd do without you

Ever have those friends who can make you smile no matter what?

Well today I went kind of batshit over calc homework... Like... cackling and wanting to bash things with my calculator, etc... Thank goodness I had my friend there to help me out and make sure I didn't smash things, my other friend on AIM to walk me through a couple problems (he wants to be a math teacher, indb), my bffl since kindergarten who knows me well enough to know how to fix things, my roomie leaving me great wall posts, a hug, and then later, a lovely friend who decided she wanted to knock on my door with massive balloon boobs.  Guys, you made my night.  Thanks for putting up with me <3

There's no combination of words I could put on the back of a postcard.  No song that I could sing, but I can try for your heart.  Our dreams, and they are made out of real things, like, a shoebox of photographs with sepiatoned loving.  Love is the answer, at least for most of the questions in my heart, like, why are we here? And where do we go? And how come its so hard?  It's not always easy and sometimes life can be decieving, but I'll tell you one thing its always better when we're together. - Jack Johnson

I dunno what I'd do without you.
<3,
Jessie

Go Green

Woohoo environmental plug? (c'mon, you didn't see this coming at some point? I'm the biggest bio dork ever... it was totally coming...)

God I love stumbleupon...  it found me this: Seed Bombing . They are literally little vending machines filled with clay and dirt balls with wildflower seeds in them.  Their goal is to start filling in all the empty areas in cities with plants by giving people a means of obtaining these easily thrown seed bombs.  All it takes is a couple quarters and everyone can go on their own little green rampage and make their cities prettier.  I personally think its a great idea and have asked my parents for some of these for Christmas, I know my friends and I would have fun attacking Boston with them xD

But yea, if you scroll down to the bottom of the page there is a link to their store where you can buy a package of 10 seed bombs for $10, and they have different mixes for different temperate areas.

I love things like this, like living roofs, specially designed curbs with plants to help purify water, seedbombs, rooftop gardens, it just all seems like such a great idea.  Incorporating nature and urban societies can only lead to good things.  We have a rooftop garden at college and its tons of flats of little succulent plants and they just look adorable.  I love sitting on the benches there.  Without the plants it'd just be some ugly sidewalk-y rooftop stuff... With the plants its a nice place to chill.  Ideas like this will make the world a better place, slowly but surely.

Tie strings to clouds, make your own lake, let it flow.  Throw seeds to sprout, make your own break, let them grow. Let them grow (endless summer). Let them grow (endless summer).  Go do.  - Jonsi

Love,
Jessie

Science Dorking Out...

So rather than doing my calc homework like  I should be I'm stumbling? I love stumbleupon.com  I currently have mine set to the dorkiest settings ever. But this. http://www.xvivo.net/the-inner-life-of-the-cell/ I just. The animations. And the amazingness. And the transport protien <3 He looks like he's walking places omg.

oceanexplorer.noaa.gov/explorations/02sab/logs/aug15/media/porpida_post.html

Also the universe. Btw.
www.cfa.harvard.edu/image_archive/2010/2/lores.jpg


Things to do:
Stargaze in a desert.
See the Northern Lights.
Drive to the West Coast.
Never use plastic bags ever again. (seriously they degrade to straight up toxins)
Find a way to live here . Because it is truly beautiful.

That's it for now, I'm kind of exhausted. And I've gotten nothing done today. Well, nothing that's going to mean anything to anyone other than me... Because today I accomplished exploring the world via the internet for awhile while chilling with some awesome people. I consider that accomplishing something.  The rest of the world (i.e. my professors) would not.

We took the walls out in this old bedroom of your house to make room for dreams. I know where you're coming from. - Matt and Kim

<3
Jessie

Math as a religion, and Matters of Consequence

So... in a conversation with a friend, ranting about finals, I came to this conclusion:

[8:46:39 PM] Jessie: i've determined calculus is a religion
[8:46:47 PM] Jessie: which all people who love math blindly follow
[8:46:48 PM] Jessie: its like
[8:46:56 PM] Jessie: the scientology of all school subjects

With that out of the way, I have friends who will spend a half hour trying to solve one math problem.  Just one problem.  That's how convoluted it is.  And they think its great.  Do they know why they're doing it? Does it unravel the mysteries of the universe?  Nope.  But they do it anyways.  Its just completely beyond me.  I feel like calculus is just one of those things that people consider to be a matter of consequence when it really isn't.  At all.

Speaking of matters of consequence, I was reading The Little Prince today, and I realized that I have become consumed by what adults deem matters of consequence.  And its driving me crazy.  I don't WANT to be concerned with the matters of consequence that are of no consequence at all.  So I've determined I'm just going to try my hardest at calc and chem and if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out, its all imaginary anyways, right?  Sorry I keep bringing up the same thing over and over guys, but calc and chem are a major source of stress in my life right now because they DONT MAKE SENSE and I have a whole 'nother semester of the both of them to go, and I need to get them over and done with ((WHO THE HELL DECIDED I NEED CALCULUS TO OBSERVE NATURE ANYWAYS?! Who has the right to tell me I have to waste a whole year on something that WILL drive me crazy?)) so I can get to the stuff I love i.e. playing with plants and germs and microscopes and memorizing EVERYTHING that has to do with LIFE and other matters of consequence. The important kind. The kind that make the stars twinkle.

I mean really, aren't actual matters of consequence the things that make you happy?  That perfect line in a song?  The friends you can depend on no matter what?  Those moments that just make you smile?  Ridiculous jokes and laughing till you cry?  Sense of adventure?  That perfect view that fills you with a sense of you don't even know what but it wasn't there prior to looking at that sight?  Open roads?  Rolling fields?  Mountain views?

I need more of those moments in my life.  And I'm determined to find them.

He was really very angry. He tossed his golden curls in the breeze.

"I know a planet where there is a certain red-faced gentleman.  He has never smelled a flower.  He has never looked at a star.  He has never loved anyone.  He has never done anything in his life but add up figures.  And all day he says over and over, just like you: 'I am busy with matters of consequence!'  And that makes him swell up with pride. But he is not a man - he is a mushroom!"

"A what?"

"A mushroom!"
The little prince was now white with rage.
"The flowers have been growing thorns for millions of years.  For millions of years the sheep have been eating them just the same.  And is it not a matter of consequence to try to understand why the flowers go to so much trouble to grow thorns which are never of any use to them?  Is the warfare between the sheep and the flowers not important?  Is this not of more consequence than a fat red-faced gentleman's sums?  And if I know - I myself - one flower which is unique in the world, which grows nowhere but on my planet, but which one little sheep can destroy in a single bite some morning, without even noticing what he is doing - Oh!  You think that is not important!"
His face turned from white to red as he continued:
"If someone loves a flower of which just one single blossom grows in all the millions and millions of stars, it is enough to make him happy just to look at the stars.  He can say to himself: 'Somewhere, my flower is there...'  But if the sheep eats the flower, in one moment all his stars will be darkened . . .  And you think that is not important!" 

pages later....

[the red-faced gentleman] "As for me, I am concerned with matters of consequence.  There is no time for idle dreaming in my life."

The Little Prince - Antoine DeSaint-Exupery

Read The Little Prince. Seriously. I will personally mail you a copy if you don't believe what a life-changing book it is.  I've determined I don't want to end up like the red-faced gentleman. I want time in my life for idle dreaming.  I don't want to be forever counting stars thinking I can own them but never seeing them for what they truly are.  I want to look at the stars and know that somewhere out there my friends and family who mean the world to me are also out there under those stars.  I don't want work and terrible requirements and frustrating things to take over my world.  I want to be able to do those things that make life worth living.  I have a list started somewhere of all the things I should do at some point, that may or may not end up on here.  We'll see.


So if you read this please immediately stop concerning yourself with matters of consequence and go find something truly beautiful to appreciate, if only for a few minutes.  Just take the little prince's advice and realize that there are more important things in the world than whatever has you stressed out.

All the love in the universe,
Jessie

I wanna stand up.  I wanna let go.  You know, you know, no, you don't, you don't.  I wanna shine on in the hearts of man.  I wanna mean it from the back of my broken hand. - The Killers

Yep.

Kind of corny, but still, I love how if you scroll too fast at the bottom a little loading bar appears that says "Loading more encouragement"

Is it going to be ok?

Just the fact that so many people care enough about brightening someone's day to make this site makes me smile.

When you thought that it was over, you could feel it all around, and everybody's out to get you, don't you let it drag you down. 'Cause if you ever feel neglected, if you think that all is lost, I'll be counting up my demons, hoping everything's not lost. - Coldplay

This is sort of a rant...

It bothers me how aggravating everything is.  Why do I need to waste my time on chemistry and calculus when I'm never going to use them ever?  Ok, maybe not ever, but I mean, I want to major in biology.  I understand needing a little basic chem, definitely organic chem, and some calc.  But seriously?

I'm at the point in calc where I'm pretty sure some mathematician just said, you know what, this is how it is. For no apparent reason, of course. Just because he could.  I have a friend who believes that math happens.  That equations just form themselves. That just... that's beyond me.  It wouldn't exist if some human didn't make up some ridiculous theorem to theoretically determine why something happens, usually in physics.  But even then things have gotten so convoluted that you're not even sure it works.

And then math teachers do those crazy things where they insist on showing you a dumbed down version of what you're going to be doing later, like it's going to help it make any sense, when the actual way of doing it happens to be easier too.  So that's pretty cool of them...

In the end, you lose sight of what you were trying to accomplish in the first place.  Which is frustrating because it doesn't just apply to math, its really easy to lose sight of where you're trying to get in just about anything.  It happens to the best of us.  Those are the times you need a self proclaimed internet exile, a good trip to the beach, the view from a mountain, a road trip, cloud watching, some form of ESCAPE from all the things that society deems important that have no real meaining in anyone's lives.

So today, in order to finish my english paper (which I've kind of given up on...  at this point I'm simply determined to pass freshman english, regardless of whether or not I get honors credit for it, aka get a b- or above), I wore my awesome new moosey pajamas that make me smile, and blared some Matt and Kim and Passion Pit.  They've never let me down before.  No matter how stressful or awful or annoying something is, you just need to keep looking for the things that make you smile.

On that note, I love the glow in the dark stars on my cieling in combination with my loft bed because they make the universe seem closer and that's a fantastic thing.

I've been losing lots of keys lately, I don't know what that means, but maybe I'll be better off with things that can't be locked at all. - Jack Johnson

Goodnight and sweet dreams!
<3 ~Jessie

Seriously?

So... right now I would like to be stargazing, but a bunch of my friends don't like the cold, and the one who doesn't mind already has plans, my cousin's in Cape Cod, and my college friends are out of state... instead I'm working on my English paper.

Now, just throwing that out there, poetry seems to be imaginary... its all lofty metaphors and scansion (which just sounds like a snooty word to begin with) and it all has a hidden meaning that only professors can manage to pick out, and even then it sounds like they're making it up.  Whatever happened to poems that worked just because they sounded nice and had a pretty straight up meaning? Since when did a poem about letters with a nice hummingbird metaphor stand for someone's hidden sexual desires? Why can't a rose just be a rose?!

Seeing as apparently that entire poem that I read as a nice hummingbird metaphor is actually about sex I feel a bit scandalized... and now I need to figure out how the hell I'm going to write a paper on that... to pass in to my English professor who apparently LOVES Dickinson...

This is fun...

All I want to do is look at some stars before I go back to college where it's too bright to see them all...

Stars looking at a planet, watching entropy and pain, and maybe start to wonder how the chaos in our lives could pass as sane.  I've been thinking 'bout everyone, everyone you look so empty. But when I look at the stars, when I look at the stars, when I look at the stars I see someone else. When I look at the stars, the stars, I feel like myself. - Switchfoot

~Jessie

Edit: An hour later and I'm still at a loss as to what to do about this poem... Do I just pretend I never found out that this poem is about Dickinson's secret desires? Or do I try and find a way to tactfully include this in my paper?  I still think its a stretch...

For reference's sake, here's the poem:

"All the letters I can write
Are not as fair as this -
Syllables of Velvet -
Sentences of Plush, -
Depths of Ruby, undrained,
Hid, Lip, for Thee -
Play it were a Humming Bird -
And just sipped - me -"

'Bout the blog title

Three of my current favorite songs... they just sounded so nice when I squashed their titles together...

Run by Vampire Weekend

Go Do by Jonsi

Better Things by Passion Pit

I figured, all I want to do in life is try new things, adventure, explore, meet people, learn, and listen to good music, why not cram all of those into the title of a blog? That and I get horrendously stir crazy from time to time...

Also, for those of you out there thinking of following this, I will post tons of song lyrics, random rambles, and probably more or less a form of a bucket list. Because there are so many things I want to do, but will probably forget about. So don't be surprised if sometimes posts are only song lyrics, or only some form of list... I make lists in my sleep...

Anywho... not really feeling all that inspired right now... english paper kind of killed any motivation to write... that and I should be sleeping...

Two or three times the bell will ring, that's when we look for better things. - Passion Pit

~Jessie