This is sort of a rant...

It bothers me how aggravating everything is.  Why do I need to waste my time on chemistry and calculus when I'm never going to use them ever?  Ok, maybe not ever, but I mean, I want to major in biology.  I understand needing a little basic chem, definitely organic chem, and some calc.  But seriously?

I'm at the point in calc where I'm pretty sure some mathematician just said, you know what, this is how it is. For no apparent reason, of course. Just because he could.  I have a friend who believes that math happens.  That equations just form themselves. That just... that's beyond me.  It wouldn't exist if some human didn't make up some ridiculous theorem to theoretically determine why something happens, usually in physics.  But even then things have gotten so convoluted that you're not even sure it works.

And then math teachers do those crazy things where they insist on showing you a dumbed down version of what you're going to be doing later, like it's going to help it make any sense, when the actual way of doing it happens to be easier too.  So that's pretty cool of them...

In the end, you lose sight of what you were trying to accomplish in the first place.  Which is frustrating because it doesn't just apply to math, its really easy to lose sight of where you're trying to get in just about anything.  It happens to the best of us.  Those are the times you need a self proclaimed internet exile, a good trip to the beach, the view from a mountain, a road trip, cloud watching, some form of ESCAPE from all the things that society deems important that have no real meaining in anyone's lives.

So today, in order to finish my english paper (which I've kind of given up on...  at this point I'm simply determined to pass freshman english, regardless of whether or not I get honors credit for it, aka get a b- or above), I wore my awesome new moosey pajamas that make me smile, and blared some Matt and Kim and Passion Pit.  They've never let me down before.  No matter how stressful or awful or annoying something is, you just need to keep looking for the things that make you smile.

On that note, I love the glow in the dark stars on my cieling in combination with my loft bed because they make the universe seem closer and that's a fantastic thing.

I've been losing lots of keys lately, I don't know what that means, but maybe I'll be better off with things that can't be locked at all. - Jack Johnson

Goodnight and sweet dreams!
<3 ~Jessie

Seriously?

So... right now I would like to be stargazing, but a bunch of my friends don't like the cold, and the one who doesn't mind already has plans, my cousin's in Cape Cod, and my college friends are out of state... instead I'm working on my English paper.

Now, just throwing that out there, poetry seems to be imaginary... its all lofty metaphors and scansion (which just sounds like a snooty word to begin with) and it all has a hidden meaning that only professors can manage to pick out, and even then it sounds like they're making it up.  Whatever happened to poems that worked just because they sounded nice and had a pretty straight up meaning? Since when did a poem about letters with a nice hummingbird metaphor stand for someone's hidden sexual desires? Why can't a rose just be a rose?!

Seeing as apparently that entire poem that I read as a nice hummingbird metaphor is actually about sex I feel a bit scandalized... and now I need to figure out how the hell I'm going to write a paper on that... to pass in to my English professor who apparently LOVES Dickinson...

This is fun...

All I want to do is look at some stars before I go back to college where it's too bright to see them all...

Stars looking at a planet, watching entropy and pain, and maybe start to wonder how the chaos in our lives could pass as sane.  I've been thinking 'bout everyone, everyone you look so empty. But when I look at the stars, when I look at the stars, when I look at the stars I see someone else. When I look at the stars, the stars, I feel like myself. - Switchfoot

~Jessie

Edit: An hour later and I'm still at a loss as to what to do about this poem... Do I just pretend I never found out that this poem is about Dickinson's secret desires? Or do I try and find a way to tactfully include this in my paper?  I still think its a stretch...

For reference's sake, here's the poem:

"All the letters I can write
Are not as fair as this -
Syllables of Velvet -
Sentences of Plush, -
Depths of Ruby, undrained,
Hid, Lip, for Thee -
Play it were a Humming Bird -
And just sipped - me -"

'Bout the blog title

Three of my current favorite songs... they just sounded so nice when I squashed their titles together...

Run by Vampire Weekend

Go Do by Jonsi

Better Things by Passion Pit

I figured, all I want to do in life is try new things, adventure, explore, meet people, learn, and listen to good music, why not cram all of those into the title of a blog? That and I get horrendously stir crazy from time to time...

Also, for those of you out there thinking of following this, I will post tons of song lyrics, random rambles, and probably more or less a form of a bucket list. Because there are so many things I want to do, but will probably forget about. So don't be surprised if sometimes posts are only song lyrics, or only some form of list... I make lists in my sleep...

Anywho... not really feeling all that inspired right now... english paper kind of killed any motivation to write... that and I should be sleeping...

Two or three times the bell will ring, that's when we look for better things. - Passion Pit

~Jessie